Today’s teen tidbit is number five, and it gets right to the heart of what’s actually happening in your teen’s brain right now!
Somewhere around ages 11 or 12, kids move from a black and white way of thinking into a world full of gray, nuance, and questions, which is why “because I said so” suddenly stops working. (And honestly, that’s a good thing.)
In this quick episode, we’ll talk about why teens are wired to push boundaries again, how that’s developmentally healthy, and how we as parents can level up by keeping strong boundaries while inviting conversation, choice, and understanding. I’ll also share why cooking has become one of my favorite safe places to practice all of this, from knowing when it’s okay to bend the rules to understanding when rules exist for a really good reason.
Let’s dive in.
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No time for the video? Here are the notes!
Time Stamps for Passing on Healthy Boundaries for Teens
0:59 – The world our teens live in isn’t black and white anymore. They’ve seen too much. Age 11 or 12 is where this kind of thinking starts to shift, and they want to know WHY when it comes to your rules and boundaries.
We can show teens how to test and how to break boundaries appropriately. – Katie Kimball, Raising Healthy Families
2:18 – There still needs to be a level of respect. We don’t want to tell them they can break our rules, but they need to be able to push a little.
2:33 – Empower your teens by allowing them to enter the conversation on some of your boundaries.
3:15 – Here’s an example of how I stretch the rules in cooking, and how I told the teens in Teens Cook Real Food about it.
4:03 – How do you figure out when you can stretch the boundary?
Teaching teens anything where you can give them choices and give them opportunities to push boundaries is wonderful. – Katie Kimball, Raising Healthy Families
4:44 – I even learned that you can break the rules when it comes to peeling a cucumber from my students!
5:11 -One teen learned a lesson by tasting cumin powder off his finger. 😉
5:50 – If something has a moral or ethical meaning, that’s one thing. But if it doesn’t, then admitting you are sometimes wrong and collaborating with your teen can be really important for your relationship.
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