Do you ever feel that tension between wanting to help your kids… and knowing you probably shouldn’t step in so fast?
Because if we’re honest, it’s almost always easier and quicker to just do it ourselves. Open the bottle. Fill out the form. Solve the problem.
But what if that instinct is exactly what’s holding our kids back?
In this episode, I’m talking with Amy Carney about what it really takes to raise kids who are ready for the real world. Not just capable on paper, but confident, resilient, and able to handle life when things don’t go smoothly.
This is part two of our conversation, and we’re digging into the everyday moments that actually shape independent kids. (Here’s part 1 if you missed it.)
Here’s what we cover:
- Why so many young adults struggle with basic problem-solving (and what parents are unintentionally doing that contributes to it)
- The surprising power of letting kids struggle instead of stepping in
- How to create family fun that actually works, even with teens who “don’t want to” participate
- The mindset shift from doing things for your kids to mentoring them through life
- Real-life examples of skills that fall through the cracks (even in great homes)
- Why “easier and quicker” should be your red flag as a parent
- Practical ways to start handing over responsibility, one small step at a time
If you’ve ever wondered how to raise kids who can actually handle adulthood, this conversation will both challenge and encourage you in the best way.
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YouTube Shorts for This Episode
No time for the video? Here are the notes!
Raising Independent Kids Who Can Problem Solve
- 1:27: Let’s jump into the second part of this interview talking about family time with teens.
- 1:54: When your kids hit their teens they tend to not want to do fun family time, but if you can make it part of your family culture the payoff is worth it and they will end up having fun most of the time. Find somewhere everyone enjoys whether that’s your backyard, a game table, or a local park. Use conversation starter cards to encourage family bonding.
Registration Is Open for #LifeSkillsNow!!
#LifeSkillsNow was created to serve the needs of families who desire their kids to have practical life skills that schools aren’t teaching. We host experts in fields ranging from entrepreneurship to finances, cooking, and soft skills like managing emotions and choosing a healthy mindset.
This year’s camp is June 8-12, and you won’t want to miss it!
When you register, you get instant access to 15 workshops to do, for kids, teens, and yourself! You don’t want to miss out on the camp that over 100,000 families have done and loved.
Yes, I Need Life Skills NOW for My Family!- 3:24: We tend to attract larger families at Kids Cook Real Food™ because bigger families need help with the cooking! Cooking can be a great family bonding activity because all ages can participate. Here are some tips for even toddlers to join in!
- 4:22: Amy has taught several of her kids how to cook and launched them off into college. She shares a funny story from when one of her sons came home for Thanksgiving.
- 5:55: Is there a checklist we can complete to ensure our kids are “launchable”? Amy thinks that one area many parents are missing is letting kids fail, learn from their mistakes, and problem solve. She has some really fascinating information on this. Here’s my interview with Jessica Lahey on this very topic.
Slow down. It’s ok to let your kids struggle a little bit before swooping in to help them. -Amy Carney
- 9:29: Amy started writing about parenting when she had a post go viral about 8 things you should stop doing for your kids. She shares some things we need to stop doing for our kids in order to let them learn and grow into adults.
- 10:50: Amy has had doctors and nurses ask her to tell parents to teach their kids about owning their health and simple remedies they can use to take care of themselves. Additionally, knowing when something can be treated at home and when to go to the doctor needs to be taught.
My son Paul wrote a real cookbook!
He and 4 friends have published a cookbook by kids, for kids, all healthy foods—Chef Junior.
If you want to see how kids write to kids and get some fab bonuses for supporting these 5 teen authors, buy the book and then redeem the bonuses the kids created!
- 13:47: I have 4 kids and I hear people with less say “oh I could never have four!” But I think having a bigger family forces you to hand things off to the kids, making them more capable. It’s hard to helicopter parent 6 kids at once! The “trickle-down effect” also comes into play where younger siblings will pick up on things with less instruction from you because they see older kids modeling behavior and skills.
- 14:28: Many parents feel strapped for time already and may feel overwhelmed by another thing to add. Amy doesn’t see it as an additional time commitment to teach her kids life skills. Most of it she’s teaching as she goes.
- 16:28: We leave you with one practical step you can take today to get started teaching your kids life skills.
Resources We Mention for Raising Independent Kids
Content Creator. Product Maker. Event Curator.
Amy is the author of Parent on Purpose and 100 Questions for Mom Journal. She loves speaking to audiences of moms and dads to empower and excite them to intentionally raise their children with more joy and purpose.
Amy’s latest venture is her new keepsake product line to help parents easily create meaningful keepsakes to hand down to their children.
Amy and her husband of 23 years, Keith, are parents to 20-year-old triplet sons, an 18-year-old daughter, and two sons (15 and 10) they recently adopted out of the Arizona foster care system.
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