We’re lonely!
It’s hurting us!
And we’re not very good at connecting with other humans.
Heather MacFadyen is here to help. Author and podcaster of Don’t Mom Alone, she’s all about building connection to help moms do their jobs better.
“Loneliness can be when you’re with others but not feeling truly known,” she said in this encouraging interview. We talk about the 3 kinds of relationships moms need to nurture, how to shed the unattainable standards society is trying to place on us, and how to antidote loneliness in the most practical of ways.
We hit on anger, lies and truths, podcast clubs and more.
If you’ve ever felt the vulnerability of making a new friend or wish you were brave enough to take the risk and make a coffee date or go for a walk with a new friend…or if you’re human…you need this interview.
Grab Heather’s book at your local library or bookshop and be sure to subscribe to the Don’t Mom Alone podcast (along with of course The Healthy Parenting Handbook)!
Find all the episodes of the Healthy Parenting Handbook here, or wherever you get your podcasts:
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Can’t see the video? Watch here on YouTube!
No time for the video? Here are the notes!
Time Stamps for Building Mom Friendships
2:43 – Heather shares how perfectionism and pressure crept in as her blog grew. When she saw listeners forming “podcast clubs” to talk about real life, she knew it was time to rebrand and create a space where moms could connect instead of compare.
Breaking Free from Mom Guilt and Shame
5:53 – Many moms hold themselves to impossible standards. Heather explains that what we call “mom guilt” is often false guilt based on fake cultural expectations. When guilt turns into shame, we isolate – and that’s when loneliness takes root.
Turn expert advice into a handbook you can actually use.
I’ve interviewed hundreds of incredible experts on the Healthy Parenting Handbook podcast! Out of time to listen? You can skim on your phone!
These one-page summaries give you the highlights of every episode fast, so you can find what you need when you need it (and nothing to download).
8:17 – Heather traces how communities once formed naturally through shared work and proximity. Today, social media and constant comparison leave us drowning in information but starving for wisdom and discernment.
“Information is at an all-time high, but wisdom is at an all-time low.” – Heather MacFadyen
The Three Ingredients of Friendship
11:04 – Heather mentions Mel Robbins’s podcast on why making friends as an adult is so hard! According to Heather, every lasting friendship needs proximity, timing, and energy. When kids are small, we often find these naturally. As they grow, we have to schedule and protect time for connection. Learn about the science of friendship with Dr. Marisa G. Franco!
12:49 – Building adult friendships can feel awkward. Heather encourages moms to take small risks without fear of rejection. You don’t have to come in needy—just genuine. Friendship grows one brave invitation at a time.
The Power of Vulnerability
14:08 – Heather reminds us that vulnerability breeds vulnerability. Share a little truth, see if it’s received safely, and if it isn’t a match, let it go gracefully. Every “no” moves you closer to the right “yes.”
17:03 – Even post-pandemic, many people hesitate to host. Heather tells a story about inviting seventh-grade moms over despite feeling insecure about her messy home. Everyone brought something small, stayed for hours, and left encouraged … a perfect reminder that showing up matters more than perfection.
19:02 – Heather points to her faith for courage to risk connection again after rejection. Even when relationships hurt, healing is possible—and the alternative, isolation, keeps us stuck.
Kids don’t need plastic knives. They need real skills.
Teach safe technique, focus, and confidence in the all-time fav lesson from our kids cooking class! (ages 2-12)
20:25 – Heather outlines three essential support roles: mentors who guide, peers who walk beside, and partners who share the load. Mentors don’t need perfect resumes; they only need to be one step ahead.
Letting Others In
24:56 – It’s difficult to let people see the messy parts of motherhood, but it’s the only path to real support. Heather challenges moms to move beyond complaining and name their actual feelings. Often, listening—not advice—is the true gift. The book Heather mentioned is People Fuel by John Townsend.
27:50 – Heather’s book structure came naturally from recognizing the lies that kept her isolated. One common lie is “I’m fully responsible for how my kids turn out.” The truth: You’re important, but not essential. Our influence matters deeply, but God and community shape our children too.
Using Anger as a Signal, Not a Solution
31:23 – Parenting four energetic boys taught Heather that anger isn’t evil; it’s information. It signals something’s wrong, but it’s not the tool for fixing it. One of the first books where Heather found this was Good and Angry by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. She describes learning to calm her body, lower unrealistic expectations, and guide her kids through character growth instead of reacting. Listen to my podcast with Emily Hamblin if you feel like you need some emotional regulation as a parent.
Modeling Connection
34:12 – Kids learn friendship by watching their parents. When we take time to nurture our relationships, they see that community is valuable and normal.
“I just want my kids to eat what I make!”
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38:23 – Heather closes with one simple, practical step: Be a curious observer of yourself. Notice your patterns and where you might be holding back from connection. Awareness opens the door for change and deeper relationships.
Resources We Mention for Building Mom Friendships
- Heather’s books: Don’t Mom Alone (Amazon/Bookshop.org) and Right Where You Belong (Amazon/Bookshop.org)
- Subscribe to Heather’s podcast, Don’t Mom Alone
- Mel Robbins podcast episode: Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible & What to Do About It
- The Science of Friendship with Dr. Marisa G. Franco
- People Fuel by John Townsend
- Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids! by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller
- Emotional Regulation for Moms with Emily Hamblin
- Visit Heather on her website HeatherMacFadyen.com or on social media: Instagram, Facebook
Heather MacFadyen is the host of the popular parenting podcast Don’t Mom Alone, with more than 27 million downloads from around the globe, as well as the author of the books Don’t Mom Alone and Right Where You Belong. She finds great joy in connecting other women to mentors and experts through her podcast and in speaking at live events with women across the country. She and her husband and their four sons live in Dallas, Texas. Learn more at www.heathermacfadyen.com.
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