Episode 015: Can We Help Our Highly Sensitive Kids Manage Their Stress Sensitivity? with Dr. Heidi Hanna

I’m so happy to have my stress mastery mentor here today!

Heidi Hanna, PhD, is one of the most intellectual, intuitive and compassionate people I know, and I’m honored to host her wisdom today. We recorded this interview in March 2020, when we were all in a tailspin and figuring out managing our stress was more important than ever!

Fill your brain with Dr. Hanna’s research and her personal experience today:

• At age 10, Heidi was fainting from stress – literally. Find out how to help if this happens to your child, or if they seem to get stomachaches and headaches in uncomfortable situations.
• Highly sensitive kids actually fare better than other kids if raised in the right environment…but we don’t always get that right as you’ll hear.
• What research is showing about how stress-sensitive people’s brains work and why Dr. Hanna doesn’t love the term “negativity bias,” even though it’s technically accurate to describe stress-sensitive people.
• Why HSCs sometimes spiral into thinking like, “It’s all my fault, I messed that up, I’m so dumb, and this is why NO ONE LIKES ME!” (I feel like that’s my whole high school life!)
• And more importantly, what parents can do to help kids stop that spiral, appreciate what their reactions are trying to tell them, and reverse the reaction.
• How we can look at the ways in which our kids (or ourselves) are reacting to stress and understand what recharge techniques they need to get more capacity.
• Dr. Hanna’s encouragement for parents of HSCs and how we can see the positive about our children’s personality.

Can’t see the video? Watch Managing Stress here on YouTube.

No time to watch the whole video? Here are the notes!

These timestamps align with the video, not the audio podcast (although they’ll be fairly close).

Managing Stress Sensitivity Video Time Stamps

• 0:15: Today I have my Stress Mastery teacher here, Dr. Heidi Hanna.
• 0:35: This episode was recorded in the madness of March 2020, but it’s still super relevant today!
• 1:13: Dr. Heidi Hanna provides brain-based health and performance programs through her company Synergy Brain Fitness.
• 2:13: Dr. Hanna has an interesting personal story leading to her research on stress which she shares with us. She identifies herself as a highly sensitive person as we’ve talked about these last couple of weeks.
• 6:52: Mental and emotional health issues can be passed through generations.

What Is Stress-Sensitivity?

• 7:51: Our culture tells kids they’re too sensitive, too emotional, they need to be “a big boy/girl” and “get over” emotions. This leads to the stuffing of emotions and then physical symptoms of stress, especially in those who are highly sensitive.
• 8:20: Dr. Hanna shares a few signs that your child is highly sensitive:
  • Are they really creative?
  • Does your child seem to have a special intuition?
  • Are they sensitive to loud noises/bright lights/smells and other sensory information?
  • If your child is amazing and perfect in many ways, but seemingly randomly melts into tantrums and you just can’t figure it out, they may be highly sensitive.

Stress sensitivity is actually a real gift if we know how to nurture it. -Dr. Heidi Hanna

• 9:34: Many of the symptoms Dr. Hanna experienced (and that your child may be experiencing) are physical: headaches, stomachaches, fainting, and even tantrums can all have physical causes like food sensitivities.
• 9:53: Dr. Hanna gets into some of the differences between her work and that of Dr. Aron on HSPs.
• 10:55: Dr. Hanna describes negativity bias. She prefers to call this “threat sensitivity.”
• 11:42: Stress sensitivity is a bit broader than being a highly sensitive person.
• 13:45: As more research has been done, we’re learning more about the physiological effects of stress sensitivity.

Strategies to Manage Stress-Sensitivity

• 14:36: You may have already identified yourself or a child as a highly sensitive person. Dr. Hanna shares some strategies to help the HSP or HSC in your life.

Highly sensitive people, even young children, internalize stress when they see others suffering. -Dr. Heidi Hanna

• 15:58: Dr. Hanna shares a way to visualize how an HSP will process stressful situations and how it affects them physically.

• 16:33: HSPs need to prioritize their basic needs like eating healthy food, getting enough sleep, taking time to be in nature, and relaxing so that they’re able to manage stress and help others.
• 17:03: Kids are not as in control of their circumstances so they really need their parents to help guide them and model for them how to take care of themselves. Modeling is so important with kids. They will hear what you do much more loudly than what you say.
• 17:55: In general kids are more sensitive than adults because they haven’t developed logic and judgment yet. We have to deal with our own stress so that we aren’t putting it on them.

• 18:43: Especially now that we’re all home more than usual, it’s so important to get your own recharge time and take care of yourself.
• 19:19: I share an example of how I didn’t manage my own stress this weekend and it impacted one of my kids.
• 19:47: We are all human, have compassion for yourself. You won’t be able to perfectly manage your stress today.
• 19:59: Dr. Hanna shares the stress mastery formula she teaches: assess, appreciate and adjust. Listen in here to see how this can help you avoid losing it!

Helping Stress-Sensitive Children

• 20:48. We know that high stress can lead to disease. So does being stress-sensitive make you more likely to be sick? The environment has a huge impact on highly sensitive children.
• 21:33: Trauma doesn’t need to be a single event. Developmental trauma while growing up creates a state of chronic stress. These cycles of trauma can continue into adulthood.
• 23:01: Creativity, movement, play, and non-stimulating nutrition are all important elements of calming a highly sensitive person.
• 23:18: We get into some practical steps to help your child who is spiraling. When you’re redirecting a child, getting their hands involved in something like a craft or exploring nature is very helpful.
• 25:08: There’s a fine line between when we need to do something productive with extra energy or relax and release it. Little sensory cues and adaptations add up over time.
• 26:56: Dr. Hanna shares a great resource to help get kids moving in an intentional way.
• 28:52: We leave you with a message of hope.

Resources We Mention for Managing Stress

• Dr. Hanna’s website
• Dr. Hanna’s courses: Stress Mastery Fundamentals 101 and Stress Mastery Foundations
• Elaine Aron’s Website
• My Healthy Parenting Connector Episodes on Stress Mastery: part 1 and part 2
• My interview with Dr. K, an expert on highly sensitive children
• My introduction to highly sensitive people
• GoNoodle
• HeartMath device helps regulate stress response

I’m an affiliate for Dr. Hanna’s courses, but that doesn’t change your price!

Dr. Heidi Hanna is the Chief Energy Officer of Synergy Brain Fitness, a company providing brain-based health and performance programs to individuals and organizations, a Founding Partner of the Academy for Brain Health and Performance and a Fellow and Advisory Board Member for the American Institute of Stress. Dr. Heidi is also an instructor at Harvard at a regular lecturer at Canyon Ranch Resort and Spa. She is a NY Times bestselling author who has written seven books, including “The Sharp Solution,” “Stressaholic,” “Recharge” and “What’s So Funny About Stress?”

Dr. Heidi has been featured at many global conferences including the Fortune Magazine Most Powerful Women in Business Summit, ESPN Leadership Summit and the Million Dollar Round Table. Her clients have included Google, Starbucks, Microsoft, Principal Insurance, Morgan Stanley, Ameriprise and WD40 as well as the PGA Tour and the National Football League. Dr. Heidi is also a National Board Member and Certified Humor Professional with the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor although she won’t admit she’s funny.